iWoes

     It is interesting to me that the iPhone 4 was the first mobile device I'm aware of to ever have its antenna questioned by the public.  Having seven years in the wireless industry now, I've been acutely aware of all devices that perform less than par.

    I started in sales, and was immediately ticked when the carrier I was working for started selling devices that worked with a technology other than the one they had service for in my area.  This resulted in all of their devices working in Analog mode; which meant hot phones, short battery life, and customers screaming at me that their ears were burned.

    I quit the moment I found another job.

   This, however, wasn't bad devices, it was bad service. Following that, the new carrier I was working for began selling the smaller, trendier phones that were just coming on the market (in 2003).  We were quickly learning which phones were developing a very bad reputation.

   The first problem was with the Motorola V60 which many of you probably had at one point or another, but this was probably the first big antenna design flaw.  The small, gray, external antenna was prone to breaking right off with very mild mishandling.  We were constantly pulling phones apart, installing new parts, and screwing the antennas back in.

   And, telling some folks that No, super gluing the antenna did NOT fix the problem... just fried their entire phone.

  Then my interest in the performance side of things (what I do now) was piqued when a field tech pointed out to me that models have different classes, and though the standard went from 3 watt phones to 6/10ths of a watt phones,  SOME models (namely Nokia's) transmitted on the uplink at 2 watts or close to it.  

  I started gently (sometimes not so gently) nudging my customers that lived far from our towers into these "candy bar" style phones.  They didn't flip.  They were an inch thick.  They were NOT cool.

  At the same time, we were changing technologies again, and the Motorola t720 came out.  It had a big, beautiful, full color screen and was oh so lightweight.  Every woman wanted it.  That thing came back with more weird bugs and flaws than any other device ever sold and I almost flat out refused to sell it.  Fortunately, the company dropped it like it was hot.. and runny.

  Then the dawn of the Motorola Razr.  I feel bad because I'm knocking so many Motorolas, but it is what it is.  Certain versions of the Razr, that cool, thin, silver flip phone, were the equivalent of talking to a tin can on a string.  They were horrible!  They dropped calls left and right!   The antenna was in that thick part at the bottom of the phone, the worst possible location! Our customers were complaining and we were telling them they needed to change devices and when they saw the Nokia's or Sony Ericsson's we were recommending, they recoiled as though we told them they would have to sacrifice their first born!

  Then, the clouds parted and the iPhone arrived.  Oooh, a touchscreen.  Oooh, apps.  Ooooh.  This device actually measures 3db less than most other models; we bench test all phones before deciding to sell them (subsidize them) with our plans.  At this point, however, customers were jailbreaking it to use it on our network.  We couldn't say whether it met our standards or not.

  Well, for some reason, the poor quality of the radio in this device (because ALL mobile phone are just a glorified, hand-held radio) didn't deter not one 20-something customer from buying it.

  When I heard the new iPhone had an improved antenna, I was actually excited for once, that I could now promote this trendy tool.  Then the issues with bars to RSSI, hands to antennas cutting out transmission.... it made me wonder if the public was finally understanding what the object they're using really is.

•   It's a radio.

•   With an antenna.

•   That has to see antennas on a tower that could be miles and miles away, or obstructed by buildings or by the walls you're within.

•    That has to have a well-designed network behind it (the carrier).

•   And has to have sufficient power (the battery) and design (the hardware/software) to communicate over vast distances through multiple objects.  

•   And has to recover from the loss of what your head absorbs when not using a headset, or the challenges when you lay it down on its antenna on your desk or passenger seat.

•   And has to correctly communicate the thousands of messages that take place between it and a core network in some far off location on each and every single call, text message, and data session.  Even when you just power up your phone, it's sending messages over the miles that basically say "Hello, I'm on, I'm here, if you need me."  

        It even checks in every four hours.  It's like the perfect child.

Salsa Verde

  The novel I was working on was put on hold in February when DH proposed and I am itching to go back to it, but I have also started a new one with an entirely different feel.  This one, I do not have a plot in mind for, so it may dwindle into nothing, but hopefully my creative juices will flow and I will finish it!

  I finished reading Twilight and am almost done with Forever Odd, the second book in the Odd Thomas series.  These are such fun reads, I highly recommend them!  Twilight was EH.  I would say that is young adult writing.

  On another note, we visited Barnes & Noble this weekend with our friends from out of town and I was pleasantly surprised to find most of the cases and covers in stock right in the front of the store!  I still can't decide on what I want.  I'm at the point where I almost want to just make my own.  If I do, you'll see them :)

  I completed Curves workout # 10 yesterday and also purchased (once I could pry my wallet open) a MYTRAK M2, which is a small device that calculates how many calories you're burning and the steps you take.  It has a complete web portal which also lets you record your meals (and breaks them down into a complete dietary intake chart) and has the community aspect if you want that.  It has a circle on the front that you work all day to turn completely green (when pressed), meaning you've met your goals.  It is based on 7 day increments, so you can compensate for a bad day on the next.

  So far, I haven't dropped any weight doing just Curves.  However, I can tell that I've gained some muscle and things are trimming up a bit so I'm still patient.  Trying to keep track of my calories now should definitely move the process along faster, and I doubt I'll build much more muscle. 

  Also, my amazing hubby is taking ballroom dancing lessons with me starting this week.  I am beyond thrilled to be doing this with him!!!  :)

“There’s fart bubbles, there’s crabs.” - Captain Phil Harris

   The buoy splashed into the Bering Sea, barely audible over the song of the seagulls, while a solitary crab fart bubble slowly reached the surface and popped.   Captain Phil Harris' friends on The Wizard dropped one full crab pot over the side of their boat, leaving it behind for Phil to find, and wiped cold tears from their face.

  Needless to say, the last episode of Deadliest Catch on Discovery was very bittersweet.  For us, this season has been especially hard, since the pain my husband had to endure during his Mom's brain cancer was relived in the eyes of Phil's children and friends.  When Josh cried and left the hospital room embarassed in the last episode after his father told him he was sorry for the way he raised him, my husband said "Nobody faults ya man, it's hard."

  Is it crazy to mourn the death of a stranger?  I would think that those of us that have watched the show at all over its run would be inhuman to not shed tears for Phil, a guy that entertained and educated us and shared his family and his life with us, uninhibited.  It is hard to see someone so strong finally fall.

  After the last episode they played a memorial tribute all about his life and now we learned what a Type A he was - knowing full well that if you want something you have to work hard for it.   What a great message for him to leave behind for a people that are hell bent on getting something for nothing.  It was inspiring and encouraging for me (and I hope for my husband) and I appreciate that his kids ALSO had to work hard, that they weren't allowed to sit by and be spoiled all of their lives, losing that teaching somewhere in the midst of all of their free toys.  And now, without their Father, it is clear that they are independent and ready to take on the full lives he would want them to live.

  I hope that all of the memorials and even the shows have served to help them with closure instead of picking at the wound.  Sometimes I think it is better to have all of the finality, all of the speeches and prayers and pictures and celebrations of life, to make losing someone so close easier.   I think it is important to focus more on their life and be reminded how they looked every day, to lessen the memories of the hospital rooms and the snaps on gowns and the beeping and the wires - remember them as they were to you every day, not how they were at the end.  I, for one, will be mortified if I go out looking my worst and that's all my loved ones remember.  Remember me when I looked hot and happy!  Remember me when I laughed, not when I cried.  Remember me as I held up a glass during a toast and smiled, or the way I cracked up when we exchanged our rings and I was too nervous to know if I had the right hand.  Remember me when I was covered in paint, excited about how the room was going to look and when I was covered in flour and frosting, pushing a tasty creation on the table. 

  Remember Phil at his happiest, when he was in his reverie, when all was right in his world.

[Don't] Feel The Burn!

  We just returned from a great weekend of racing at Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course's Honda SuperCycle Weekend!  It was a great time but some serious sun and heat.

  We discovered two great products that are new essentials to anyone sitting outside in the summer rays:

• Continuous Spray Sunscreen.  We just bought the Wal-Mart version for $4 and it worked wonderfully with 50SPF protection.

• Sport Brella.  Someone else at the track had this and we were so jealous after fighting our umbrellas in the wind all day to keep the sun off our burns from the day before.  We had it up the last day and it is just great and perfect for these events.  It was also easy to transport to and from our motorcycle.  We found one at Sam's Club, way in the back on clearance.... score!!

Oh, Knees!!

  The Curves workout is still like sunshine during a cold breeze - my whole body feels like I've just had an amazing massage when I'm done, and I have no problems with motivation to keep going back.  Yesterday was Workout #4.  I can't expect results this early, but I have noticed already that my joints have started sending me flowers and acaii berry chews.

  Speaking of joints, my knee became an attention whore this weekend and made me do things like cry, hold back pain-induced vomit, hop on one leg, crawl, find a way to roll on something out to the truck, and make a surprise visit at the local ER.

  I had my knee rotated and flexed and was pulling down with my ankle and all of a sudden it felt like someone grabbed the parts of my knee, yanked them apart, and let them cram into spots they didn't belong - leaving me in TREMENDOUS pain.  I have a very high pain tolerance and I was crying within seconds, completely freaking my hubby out.  He tried rubbing it and within two minutes had offered me everything from ice to a knee brace to ibuprofren to a ride to the hospital.   I think he would have pulled his gat out on whatever was causing me pain if this were in any way possible.

  But first, flashback to last winter:  I'm in a squat at Walmart, checking out some photo frames, when all of a sudden my knee does this.  By this, I mean my knee feels twisted, locked up, jacked up, dislocated, etc. It's bad pain (though not as bad as this last time), but I'm in a public place so I stand up abruptly and it snaps back in place, with an audible SNAP.  This makes me light headed, causes a small bruise (indicating I made something inside there bleed), and it hurts like a S.O.B.  I'm favoring my knee and decide to call the doc.

  Told the doc that prior to this even, it's happened before.  Almost always from a squatting position, but usually I can slowly rotate until whatever it is moves back into place, I never just bust through whatever is happening.  He orders a MRI of the knee.  That shows up indicating a "minimal tear" of my meniscus.  The meniscus is kind of like a rubber cushion between the bones, and it's made of cartilage that can bulge out (and get in the way) or can rip and then cause things to hang up on it.  So he sends me to a specialist.

  The "specialist", Dr. Rutledge in Fort Wayne, may not be a quack, but I have nothing nice to say about him.  He told me the radiologist did not read my MRI correctly and everything looked healthy and fine and that I had arthritis.  Dr. Rutledge did not seem to make the connection, at all.

  In fact, I'm pretty sure he's never made a picture by connecting the dots, and I question whether he could even draw a picture.  He completely ignored the fact that I had created a bruise AND created new pain (not having had ANY pain prior), that an event had occurred!  This wasn't aging causing inflammation, and his condescending scoffs when I questioned these points made it apparent that he thought I was an idiot.

  Now incredibly frustrated and having already mentally resigned to getting a second opinion when his "treatment" was only to strengthen my thigh muscles, and with him not even venturing a guess at what I did to my knee (or even acknowledging that I DID do something), I made the mistake of joking, "Well couldn't you at least say I can have six months off work to recover?" and he didn't crack a smile.  Please, asshole.  I wouldn't take time out of my week to see two doctors and trot down to imaging and take a ride through a MRI in the cold and over the icy roads just to get some fucking time off work.  Bite me.  Go back to school and take a Sense of Humor class after you finish your Common Sense 101 course.

  I went to a second doctor at FWO, which is, by the way, a much more thorough office that took x-rays right off the bat when I arrived, but I still did not get the answers I needed.  While this doctor could not explain what happened, he at least acknowledged that I DID do something, that it may have torn some tissue (causing the bruising), but that it did not appear as though anything was getting caught on or tearing the meniscus and it didn't appear that any tendons or ligaments had been torn.  So, still no answer, but at least this guy had graduated from both of the aforementioned classes and treated me with respect.  I'd already done my research (of course), and he answered all of my questions.

  So back to this crazy weekend.  I'm horrified that this has happened, it hurts like a bitch, it's hard to even get to the bathroom to pee, and I'm empathetic with all peoples in wheelchairs immediately.  I'm sitting there Saturday morning and realize that this is a golden opportunity to know once and for all what the heck is going on in my knee- what parts of my anatomy have decided to throw a surprise party and invite a significant nerve to the fray.  I roll out to the truck on an ottoman I'd purchased and remembered had wheels, and then we were off to the Lutheran ER.

  Now, I feel bad for how I ended up responding here.  I'm just so sick of people that take the easy answer - that don't care enough to put themselves in your shoes and make a genuine effort to help.  I hate going to the ER anyway and would not have gone if it was not the weekend.  I realize I'm not dying and I hate wasting their time.  My SOLE goal in this trip was to have them order a MRI so I could finally see what was going on under the skin and then know how to prevent/treat it in the future.  I envisioned ligaments or tendons wrapped around bones they shouldn't be.

  The nurse, PA, and I guess eventually a MD all informed me that, sorry, new hospital policy, passed down from corporate, states that they are not allowed to order a MRI for a non-life-threatening condition.  Too many people haven't paid the bill.  Ugh.  And this is after not one of them even tried to help me, though one pressed on it in a few places and asked if it hurt, but that was it.  They didn't even venture a guess at what happened, though one declared "the damage was already done" even though I'm telling her something is STILL out of place.


  Then it was like my knee decided, eh, screw this.  Guess we're not finding out any time soon.  Let's go back to where we belong and let this chick walk out of here.  And it did.  I went to stretch it out again and everything was fine.  Perfect.  Blissful.  I stood up carefully.  Nope, totally fine.  Well thank God I don't have to crawl to the bathroom tonight.

  We got home and I hit up Google like a mad scientist that accidentally shrunk his penis and needs to find the cure asap.  I kept searching "knee locked up"  "knee feels twisted" and I finally happened across something that made. complete.  sense. 

  This person was experiencing what sounds like the exact same thing, and they also went to several doctors before a physical therapist finally thought outside of box (or should I say knee) and realized what was happening.  The head of the smaller bone in my lower leg, the fibula, was dislocating/moving/subluxating.  I've done more research and am finding that this is common in people that did ballet (check) and used to work out and then stopped and haven't in several years (check check).

  The condition seems to commonly occur when people are squatting, or getting up from sitting "indian" style.  I think the culprit is the muscle biceps femoris, which connects to the head of the fibula and is responsible for rotating the knee when it is flexed.  This is exactly the position I have been in each time.  When the muscle contracts, it can actually pull the fibula "out of joint".   I think my muscle may have been tight from lack of regular stretching.  I make certain to stretch it often now.

  For relief, usually you can just straighten your leg out slowly.  I tried that a hundred times this weekend, so I'm thinking I may have had a complete dislocation this time.  It slid back into place with stealth while we were at the hospital with my leg in almost the same position it had occurred in; bent to less than 90 degrees, and rotated out (with my feet closer to me and my knee of right leg out to the right of me).  Someone also said you could swirl your foot around, but I'm pretty sure I'd tried that too.

  By the way, the symptoms mimic that of a torn meniscus.

  Let's hope your doctor mimics an intelligent person and can do some research on your behalf, should this ever happen to you.

Instability of the tibiofibular joint
More on Instability of the tibiofibular joint
Several types of knee issues

I Love My Curves ;)

    This may be a little premature, especially since today is only Workout #2 and all, but I'm going to share anyway. 

    I need to get in shape.  We're married, we want to have kids, they require energy, and I don't want my chub to somehow be passed down in the poor kid's genes and then be secretly blamed for any weight issues he or she may have for the rest of their life.  Plus, it's just healthy. 

   So the other day, my morning email from Groupon popped up on my BlackBerry, and it was this great discount for a Curves location not far from our house; $10 for two weeks, then if you sign up it waives the $199 startup fee (which, I have a good feeling, you could get them to waive if you try). 

  The night before I'd had this realization, you know the kind you get when you finally decide enough is enough and you Really WANT THIS; you actually say, "I REALLY WANT THIS", and you commit to it.  I'm one of those people that is incredibly stubborn - you tell me to color with red and I'm going to color with blue.  That's just the way I am.  I'll do it my way dammit.  Don't you dare tell me I need to lose weight, this is my body, and I'll do it if I want to.  Fortunately, no one around me has given me any crap about my weight or told me to do anything about it lately (thank you) and I could finally decide to commit to this and not feel like I was doing it for anyone else.

  Anyway.

  So I signed up and I really didn't know what to expect - I hate classes.  I hate being with a bunch of women.  I hate working my schedule around it.  I hate jumping up and down.  I hate repetition.  I hate running.  Etc.  In fact, there's only one kind of workout I love, and that's lifting weights.  I believe the human body only feels good when each muscle group does its job - it's like Cesar's theory on dogs, they have to do their job to feel satisfaction and be a calm submissive member of the group.  I think we're the same way.  My bicep doesn't get to any work today, it somehow tells my brain, "fuck you then, eat that chocolate cake." 

  And viola, Curves is just lifting weights.  Not even weights though, they are all resistance machines.  And you do them so fast, you're really not gaining a bunch of muscle (fear not, you will not become The Terminator).  You're at each machine for 30 seconds, then the soundtrack prompts you to "change stations", then you're on a "Recovery Station", where you can sway to the beat or walk or jog or whatever.  If you do each machine as hard as you can, you actually completely fatigue the muscle. 

  So you're basically at a gym, at whatever time and day you want to be, with no men around, no fighting for machines, working all of your muscle groups, but only 30 seconds at a time so It Is NOT Boring (thank you Jesus) and you go around the circuit twice and you're done!  And it feels like you should be going around five more times but you've broken a great sweat and now it's time to go do the stretch circuit and the next day you're not sore or anything. 

  They also have CurvesSmart, which is a system that allows you to put a fob into a little computer on each machine, and it tracks your progress and your current status and shows you to speed it up (that just reminded me of the candy episode of I Love Lucy) or whatever.  I haven't bought this yet (it's like $60 extra), but I love looking at data so I'm probably going to.

  Speaking of data, the first day they weigh you and measure everything, and get a total body fat percentage.  Each month you repeat.  More data!!!  I'm in love!!

   So I'm looking forward to making progress, I signed up for a year and that should be about the right time to reach my goal.  I can't see me getting sick of this, I really can't, because it takes away all of the crap I hated about working out and keeps the only part I ever loved.   Plus the people are pretty friendly and will coach you and keep you accountable and it's just a fun workout that goes by SO fast.  They don't preach changing your diet, that's your own choice, but I'm working on that too so I hope for some great results.

  I'm wearing a bikini when we finally get to renew our vows in the Caribbean next year.  Well, not during the actual ceremony, but if I'm going to one of the most romantic resorts in one of the most romantic parts of the world, I sure as heck want to drive my hubby wild.  'Nuff said.

Toxicity... in the city...

  Are you in a toxic relationship?  What is a toxic relationship?  How do you get away from toxic people?

  A toxic person is someone that tries to manipulate your feelings and you to their advantage.  They make you doubt yourself, your intentions, your values.  Toxic people may demoralize you, and more often than not, make it public.  You will become the bad guy.  You will feel insecure and depressed.  A toxic individual will cast a heavy steel net over you that can be impossible to escape.

  What made me write about evil green people tonight?  I re-watched the last episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.  This crazy plastic fame whore, Danielle, has a scene involving a local boutique right at the beginning of the show, and she immediately exhibits the qualities of a mentally unstable person that is living in her own reality and has become a poison to those that try (or tried) to have a relationship with her.  It's pretty hard to make it through reality when you're living in your own.

  And that is a key to identifying a toxic person.  Chances are, you're a smart individual.  Smart enough that you will generally stand up to someone that is clearly wrong.  For example, you and Leah are friends.  Leah goes to the fair with you and buys cotton candy.  Now Leah tells everyone that you went to the movies and bought popcorn.  You're going to argue with Leah, that no, she didn't buy corn she bought sugar and there were roller coasters not reclining seats.  Leah's now going to tell you that you must not love her enough to remember that it was the movies and how dare you treat her friendship like that....

  Um.  Yes.  

A toxic person = someone that insists they are living in or embraces a reality that is ONLY IN THEIR HEAD and is NOT actual reality.  

 This person may lie to you or to your friends about you.  This person will try to make you feel guilty for your inaction or your action or for stuff you've never even done (a look, a laugh, oh you don't remember gossiping with Ozzy about them?? Shame on you!) and at some extremes, they may have real mental disorders such as as psychosis where they create real-to-them enemies and scenarios and smells and tastes (maybe someone is "pumping gas" into their bedroom).  

  The worst part is - you'll want to help them.  Human nature is to take the weak and make them strong.  To fix them.  To help them see the error of their ways.

 Honey, you ain't a miracle worker.

  Unless this person qualifies for strong meds from a shrink, your chances of seeing a New and Improved Version are about as good as you winning the lottery while making love to George Clooney.  So what can you do for them?

  Nothing.

  Cut them from your life.  100%.  If you must talk to them, learn to think about something else while they're spewing their trash and make it clear that you don't give a rats ass about it and unless they have something rational to say, you don't have time.

The best reaction is no reaction.

  They want a response from you, they want your brow to go up, your cheeks to flush... they want DRAMA, lots and lots of it!  Imagine that they are a dark, cold light bulb, and you are full of vibrant energy (you are or they wouldn't be there in the first place, feeding off of you), when they start something that gets your adrenaline pumping, their light bulb slowly starts to glow, then gets brighter, and finally is blazing - and chances are, YOU now feel drained.

  The best way to get this kind of person to move on (and is actually healthier for ALL involved), is to keep your energy to yourself.  You have your own bill to pay for all of that electricity, you don't have the resources to give it to them.  You don't need to walk on egg shells and tip toe around them.  YOU don't need to make THEM feel secure.  Enabling their disease is not going to convince them to change, ever.

  Once you learn that YOU are sane, and they are not, your life will improve only for the better.  Keep a small group of sane, healthy, secure friends, and forget the rest.  No one that loves you will EVER take away your energy.