Pain in the Back

  I have had an issue with my back since my FIL moved in with us at the end of '08 and I moved a ton of furniture to accommodate his.   It got so bad at one point that ANY type of bending over killed me (lifting or not) and one day I couldn't even stand up straight.  My muscles were spasming, I was put on muscle relaxers, I went to a chiropractor, etc...  It was suck central.

  It is still bothering me.  It's better - except when I have to do a lot of bending/lifting and then it goes right back to where it was.  DH bought an inversion table and that is helping, if I remember to do it daily.  But I finally started physical therapy for it. 

  My pain is a low back pain (not uncommon), but it feels to me like my pelvis is twisted.  When I lay on a flat service or sit my tub, it feels like one side hits before the other.  It is a CONSTANT, dull ache.  It is not fun.  I told the Doctor all of this and his recommendation was to start off just assuming it's an arthritis-like disc issue.  I wasn't too thrilled, but whatever.  It's not like I haven't already been putting up with it for almost three years.  He gave me some simple stretches to do:

1. Lay on my stomach with my arms up for five minutes twice a day.
2. Stand with my hands on my hips and push my hip out for 4 seconds, 10 times, 6 times a day.
3. Lay on my back with my knees bent, and rotate them down to the floor on each side 10 times, twice a day.

  We'll see how this goes - he even gave me a little chart to keep track of it.  I can't go back to him for two weeks but I hope it helps.  When all of this started was right when a 40 mile long train of stress dumped its load on me, and my Mom (the RN) was concerned that it was just from stress.  Could be, since my stress is mostly alleviated now and my back is mostly better.  It helps to have the jets in the tub and the inversion table and sometimes I can convince DH to give me a sweet back rub.

   Speaking of my dear husband, we are a few short months from finally watching justice be served for what his father did to him.  It has been a long, painful, agonizing road.  Each day we remind ourselves that there are people suffering in more tragic ways everywhere.  We have each other and our health and that's all that matters.  It is beyond unfortunate that he lost both parents in a brief amount of time, but his life is filled with great role models that have been there for both of us every step of the way.  We are thankful for our loving families and supportive friends and our lives are good.  Soon, we hope to have our own little chubby feet to chew and chubby cheeks to squeeze. 

  The worst part will always be protecting ourselves and, more importantly, our children, from this man.  My only hope is that he will find help and muster up whatever small amount of true love he has left for his son and leave us in peace.  He has tormented our friends and our family and I can't imagine continuing to live in a life of fear until he wakes up to judgment day. 

  I'm so proud of my husband for being such an amazing, loving person to everyone, despite what has happened.  It is all owed to his wonderful Mother who was sweet beyond compare.  Had she been any less loving, the cycle would have continued.  She cut the chain for my husband.   She saved him from his genes and, literally, from his father.   I've heard that all people become heroes when they die, but she was truly a hero while she lived. 

  I hope that all mothers and dads can cut their own chains and fill their childrens' lives with total, un-rationed love.  You have NO idea how much they need it.  And divorced parents, you don't know what you've asked your kids to do - to love their parents but not be with them.  You've asked them to grow up then are surprised when they are fiercely independent as young adults. 

  Please don't have children if you have doubts about who you are with, and please make it work with your spouse if you just feel like you "fell out of love" (obviously not if they are abusive).  It's a choice.  I don't care who says divorce doesn't have a big effect on children - I have lived it and it does.  Even if you have remarried a wonderful father/mother figure for your child - it does.  Imagine you are happily married - like you are beyond happy when your spouse is around - and someone comes along and tells you that he or she is going to live 3,000 miles away, but you are not getting divorced, and you can see him or her for a few months in the summer.  What would that do to you?  Or imagine your spouse goes to prison and you can see him or her only on the weekends.  What would your life be, but empty and miserable?  That is divorce to a child. 

 Think twice.