TrialandFire.com

iWoes

2010-07-28T15:10:00.003-04:00

     It is interesting to me that the iPhone 4 was the first mobile device I'm aware of to ever have its antenna questioned by the public. Having seven years in the wireless industry now, I've been acutely aware of all devices that perform less than par.

    I started in sales, and was immediately ticked when the carrier I was working for started selling devices that worked with a technology other than the one they had service for in my area. This resulted in all of their devices working in Analog mode; which meant hot phones, short battery life, and customers screaming at me that their ears were burned.

    I quit the moment I found another job.

   This, however, wasn't bad devices, it was bad service. Following that, the new carrier I was working for began selling the smaller, trendier phones that were just coming on the market (in 2003). We were quickly learning which phones were developing a very bad reputation.

The first problem was with the Motorola V60 which many of you probably had at one point or another, but this was probably the first big antenna design flaw. The small, gray, external antenna was prone to breaking right off with very mild mishandling. We were constantly pulling phones apart, installing new parts, and screwing the antennas back in.

And, telling some folks that No, super gluing the antenna did NOT fix the problem... just fried their entire phone.

Then my interest in the performance side of things (what I do now) was piqued when a field tech pointed out to me that models have different classes, and though the standard went from 3 watt phones to 6/10ths of a watt phones, SOME models (namely Nokia's) transmitted on the uplink at 2 watts or close to it.

I started gently (sometimes not so gently) nudging my customers that lived far from our towers into these "candy bar" style phones. They didn't flip. They were an inch thick. They were NOT cool.

At the same time, we were changing technologies again, and the Motorola t720 came out. It had a big, beautiful, full color screen and was oh so lightweight. Every woman wanted it. That thing came back with more weird bugs and flaws than any other device ever sold and I almost flat out refused to sell it. Fortunately, the company dropped it like it was hot.. and runny.

Then the dawn of the Motorola Razr. I feel bad because I'm knocking so many Motorolas, but it is what it is. Certain versions of the Razr, that cool, thin, silver flip phone, were the equivalent of talking to a tin can on a string. They were horrible! They dropped calls left and right! The antenna was in that thick part at the bottom of the phone, the worst possible location! Our customers were complaining and we were telling them they needed to change devices and when they saw the Nokia's or Sony Ericsson's we were recommending, they recoiled as though we told them they would have to sacrifice their first born!

Then, the clouds parted and the iPhone arrived. Oooh, a touchscreen. Oooh, apps. Ooooh. This device actually measures 3db less than most other models; we bench test all phones before deciding to sell them (subsidize them) with our plans. At this point, however, customers were jailbreaking it to use it on our network. We couldn't say whether it met our standards or not.

Well, for some reason, the poor quality of the radio in this device (because ALL mobile phone are just a glorified, hand-held radio) didn't deter not one 20-something customer from buying it.

When I heard the new iPhone had an improved antenna, I was actually excited for once, that I could now promote this trendy tool. Then the issues with bars to RSSI, hands to antennas cutting out transmission.... it made me wonder if the public was finally understanding what the object they're using really is.

It's a radio.

With an antenna.

That has to see antennas on a tower that could be miles and miles away, or obstructed by buildings or by the walls you're within.

That has to have a well-designed network behind it (the carrier).

And has to have sufficient power (the battery) and design (the hardware/software) to communicate over vast distances through multiple objects.

And has to recover from the loss of what your head absorbs when not using a headset, or the challenges when you lay it down on its antenna on your desk or passenger seat.

And has to correctly communicate the thousands of messages that take place between it and a core network in some far off location on each and every single call, text message, and data session. Even when you just power up your phone, it's sending messages over the miles that basically say "Hello, I'm on, I'm here, if you need me."

It even checks in every four hours. It's like the perfect child.

Salsa Verde

2010-07-27T08:49:00.000-04:00

The novel I was working on was put on hold in February when DH proposed and I am itching to go back to it, but I have also started a new one with an entirely different feel. This one, I do not have a plot in mind for, so it may dwindle into nothing, but hopefully my creative juices will flow and I will finish it!

I finished reading Twilight and am almost done with Forever Odd, the second book in the Odd Thomas series. These are such fun reads, I highly recommend them! Twilight was EH. I would say that is young adult writing.

On another note, we visited Barnes & Noble this weekend with our friends from out of town and I was pleasantly surprised to find most of the cases and covers in stock right in the front of the store! I still can't decide on what I want. I'm at the point where I almost want to just make my own. If I do, you'll see them :)

I completed Curves workout # 10 yesterday and also purchased (once I could pry my wallet open) a MYTRAK M2, which is a small device that calculates how many calories you're burning and the steps you take. It has a complete web portal which also lets you record your meals (and breaks them down into a complete dietary intake chart) and has the community aspect if you want that. It has a circle on the front that you work all day to turn completely green (when pressed), meaning you've met your goals. It is based on 7 day increments, so you can compensate for a bad day on the next.

So far, I haven't dropped any weight doing just Curves. However, I can tell that I've gained some muscle and things are trimming up a bit so I'm still patient. Trying to keep track of my calories now should definitely move the process along faster, and I doubt I'll build much more muscle.

Also, my amazing hubby is taking ballroom dancing lessons with me starting this week. I am beyond thrilled to be doing this with him!!! :)

“There’s fart bubbles, there’s crabs.” - Captain Phil Harris

2010-07-22T08:55:00.001-04:00

   The buoy splashed into the Bering Sea, barely audible over the song of the seagulls, while a solitary crab fart bubble slowly reached the surface and popped.   Captain Phil Harris' friends on The Wizard dropped one full crab pot over the side of their boat, leaving it behind for Phil to find, and wiped cold tears from their face.

Needless to say, the last episode of Deadliest Catch on Discovery was very bittersweet. For us, this season has been especially hard, since the pain my husband had to endure during his Mom's brain cancer was relived in the eyes of Phil's children and friends. When Josh cried and left the hospital room embarassed in the last episode after his father told him he was sorry for the way he raised him, my husband said "Nobody faults ya man, it's hard."

Is it crazy to mourn the death of a stranger? I would think that those of us that have watched the show at all over its run would be inhuman to not shed tears for Phil, a guy that entertained and educated us and shared his family and his life with us, uninhibited. It is hard to see someone so strong finally fall.

After the last episode they played a memorial tribute all about his life and now we learned what a Type A he was - knowing full well that if you want something you have to work hard for it.   What a great message for him to leave behind for a people that are hell bent on getting something for nothing. It was inspiring and encouraging for me (and I hope for my husband) and I appreciate that his kids ALSO had to work hard, that they weren't allowed to sit by and be spoiled all of their lives, losing that teaching somewhere in the midst of all of their free toys. And now, without their Father, it is clear that they are independent and ready to take on the full lives he would want them to live.

I hope that all of the memorials and even the shows have served to help them with closure instead of picking at the wound. Sometimes I think it is better to have all of the finality, all of the speeches and prayers and pictures and celebrations of life, to make losing someone so close easier.   I think it is important to focus more on their life and be reminded how they looked every day, to lessen the memories of the hospital rooms and the snaps on gowns and the beeping and the wires - remember them as they were to you every day, not how they were at the end. I, for one, will be mortified if I go out looking my worst and that's all my loved ones remember. Remember me when I looked hot and happy! Remember me when I laughed, not when I cried. Remember me as I held up a glass during a toast and smiled, or the way I cracked up when we exchanged our rings and I was too nervous to know if I had the right hand. Remember me when I was covered in paint, excited about how the room was going to look and when I was covered in flour and frosting, pushing a tasty creation on the table.

Remember Phil at his happiest, when he was in his reverie, when all was right in his world.

[Don't] Feel The Burn!

2010-07-20T09:59:00.000-04:00

We just returned from a great weekend of racing at Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course's Honda SuperCycle Weekend! It was a great time but some serious sun and heat.

We discovered two great products that are new essentials to anyone sitting outside in the summer rays:

Continuous Spray Sunscreen. We just bought the Wal-Mart version for $4 and it worked wonderfully with 50SPF protection.

Sport Brella. Someone else at the track had this and we were so jealous after fighting our umbrellas in the wind all day to keep the sun off our burns from the day before. We had it up the last day and it is just great and perfect for these events. It was also easy to transport to and from our motorcycle. We found one at Sam's Club, way in the back on clearance.... score!!

Oh, Knees!!

2010-07-14T13:33:00.000-04:00

The Curves workout is still like sunshine during a cold breeze - my whole body feels like I've just had an amazing massage when I'm done, and I have no problems with motivation to keep going back. Yesterday was Workout #4. I can't expect results this early, but I have noticed already that my joints have started sending me flowers and acaii berry chews.

Speaking of joints, my knee became an attention whore this weekend and made me do things like cry, hold back pain-induced vomit, hop on one leg, crawl, find a way to roll on something out to the truck, and make a surprise visit at the local ER.

I had my knee rotated and flexed and was pulling down with my ankle and all of a sudden it felt like someone grabbed the parts of my knee, yanked them apart, and let them cram into spots they didn't belong - leaving me in TREMENDOUS pain. I have a very high pain tolerance and I was crying within seconds, completely freaking my hubby out. He tried rubbing it and within two minutes had offered me everything from ice to a knee brace to ibuprofren to a ride to the hospital. I think he would have pulled his gat out on whatever was causing me pain if this were in any way possible.

But first, flashback to last winter: I'm in a squat at Walmart, checking out some photo frames, when all of a sudden my knee does this. By this, I mean my knee feels twisted, locked up, jacked up, dislocated, etc. It's bad pain (though not as bad as this last time), but I'm in a public place so I stand up abruptly and it snaps back in place, with an audible SNAP. This makes me light headed, causes a small bruise (indicating I made something inside there bleed), and it hurts like a S.O.B. I'm favoring my knee and decide to call the doc.

Told the doc that prior to this even, it's happened before. Almost always from a squatting position, but usually I can slowly rotate until whatever it is moves back into place, I never just bust through whatever is happening. He orders a MRI of the knee. That shows up indicating a "minimal tear" of my meniscus. The meniscus is kind of like a rubber cushion between the bones, and it's made of cartilage that can bulge out (and get in the way) or can rip and then cause things to hang up on it. So he sends me to a specialist.

The "specialist", Dr. Rutledge in Fort Wayne, may not be a quack, but I have nothing nice to say about him. He told me the radiologist did not read my MRI correctly and everything looked healthy and fine and that I had arthritis. Dr. Rutledge did not seem to make the connection, at all.

In fact, I'm pretty sure he's never made a picture by connecting the dots, and I question whether he could even draw a picture. He completely ignored the fact that I had created a bruise AND created new pain (not having had ANY pain prior), that an event had occurred! This wasn't aging causing inflammation, and his condescending scoffs when I questioned these points made it apparent that he thought I was an idiot.

Now incredibly frustrated and having already mentally resigned to getting a second opinion when his "treatment" was only to strengthen my thigh muscles, and with him not even venturing a guess at what I did to my knee (or even acknowledging that I DID do something), I made the mistake of joking, "Well couldn't you at least say I can have six months off work to recover?" and he didn't crack a smile. Please, asshole. I wouldn't take time out of my week to see two doctors and trot down to imaging and take a ride through a MRI in the cold and over the icy roads just to get some fucking time off work. Bite me. Go back to school and take a Sense of Humor class after you finish your Common Sense 101 course.

I went to a second doctor at FWO, which is, by the way, a much more thorough office that took x-rays right off the bat when I arrived, but I still did not get the answers I needed. While this doctor could not explain what happened, he at least acknowledged that I DID do something, that it may have torn some tissue (causing the bruising), but that it did not appear as though anything was getting caught on or tearing the meniscus and it didn't appear that any tendons or ligaments had been torn. So, still no answer, but at least this guy had graduated from both of the aforementioned classes and treated me with respect. I'd already done my research (of course), and he answered all of my questions.

So back to this crazy weekend. I'm horrified that this has happened, it hurts like a bitch, it's hard to even get to the bathroom to pee, and I'm empathetic with all peoples in wheelchairs immediately. I'm sitting there Saturday morning and realize that this is a golden opportunity to know once and for all what the heck is going on in my knee- what parts of my anatomy have decided to throw a surprise party and invite a significant nerve to the fray. I roll out to the truck on an ottoman I'd purchased and remembered had wheels, and then we were off to the Lutheran ER.

Now, I feel bad for how I ended up responding here. I'm just so sick of people that take the easy answer - that don't care enough to put themselves in your shoes and make a genuine effort to help. I hate going to the ER anyway and would not have gone if it was not the weekend. I realize I'm not dying and I hate wasting their time. My SOLE goal in this trip was to have them order a MRI so I could finally see what was going on under the skin and then know how to prevent/treat it in the future. I envisioned ligaments or tendons wrapped around bones they shouldn't be.

The nurse, PA, and I guess eventually a MD all informed me that, sorry, new hospital policy, passed down from corporate, states that they are not allowed to order a MRI for a non-life-threatening condition. Too many people haven't paid the bill. Ugh. And this is after not one of them even tried to help me, though one pressed on it in a few places and asked if it hurt, but that was it. They didn't even venture a guess at what happened, though one declared "the damage was already done" even though I'm telling her something is STILL out of place.

Then it was like my knee decided, eh, screw this. Guess we're not finding out any time soon. Let's go back to where we belong and let this chick walk out of here. And it did. I went to stretch it out again and everything was fine. Perfect. Blissful. I stood up carefully. Nope, totally fine. Well thank God I don't have to crawl to the bathroom tonight.

We got home and I hit up Google like a mad scientist that accidentally shrunk his penis and needs to find the cure asap. I kept searching "knee locked up" "knee feels twisted" and I finally happened across something that made. complete. sense.

This person was experiencing what sounds like the exact same thing, and they also went to several doctors before a physical therapist finally thought outside of box (or should I say knee) and realized what was happening. The head of the smaller bone in my lower leg, the fibula, was dislocating/moving/subluxating. I've done more research and am finding that this is common in people that did ballet (check) and used to work out and then stopped and haven't in several years (check check).

The condition seems to commonly occur when people are squatting, or getting up from sitting "indian" style. I think the culprit is the muscle biceps femoris, which connects to the head of the fibula and is responsible for rotating the knee when it is flexed. This is exactly the position I have been in each time. When the muscle contracts, it can actually pull the fibula "out of joint". I think my muscle may have been tight from lack of regular stretching. I make certain to stretch it often now.

For relief, usually you can just straighten your leg out slowly. I tried that a hundred times this weekend, so I'm thinking I may have had a complete dislocation this time. It slid back into place with stealth while we were at the hospital with my leg in almost the same position it had occurred in; bent to less than 90 degrees, and rotated out (with my feet closer to me and my knee of right leg out to the right of me). Someone also said you could swirl your foot around, but I'm pretty sure I'd tried that too.

By the way, the symptoms mimic that of a torn meniscus.

Let's hope your doctor mimics an intelligent person and can do some research on your behalf, should this ever happen to you.

Instability of the tibiofibular joint
More on Instability of the tibiofibular joint
Several types of knee issues

I Love My Curves ;)

2010-07-09T14:49:00.000-04:00

    This may be a little premature, especially since today is only Workout #2 and all, but I'm going to share anyway.

    I need to get in shape. We're married, we want to have kids, they require energy, and I don't want my chub to somehow be passed down in the poor kid's genes and then be secretly blamed for any weight issues he or she may have for the rest of their life. Plus, it's just healthy.

   So the other day, my morning email from Groupon popped up on my BlackBerry, and it was this great discount for a Curves location not far from our house; $10 for two weeks, then if you sign up it waives the $199 startup fee (which, I have a good feeling, you could get them to waive if you try).

The night before I'd had this realization, you know the kind you get when you finally decide enough is enough and you Really WANT THIS; you actually say, "I REALLY WANT THIS", and you commit to it. I'm one of those people that is incredibly stubborn - you tell me to color with red and I'm going to color with blue. That's just the way I am. I'll do it my way dammit. Don't you dare tell me I need to lose weight, this is my body, and I'll do it if I want to. Fortunately, no one around me has given me any crap about my weight or told me to do anything about it lately (thank you) and I could finally decide to commit to this and not feel like I was doing it for anyone else.

Anyway.

So I signed up and I really didn't know what to expect - I hate classes. I hate being with a bunch of women. I hate working my schedule around it. I hate jumping up and down. I hate repetition. I hate running. Etc. In fact, there's only one kind of workout I love, and that's lifting weights. I believe the human body only feels good when each muscle group does its job - it's like Cesar's theory on dogs, they have to do their job to feel satisfaction and be a calm submissive member of the group. I think we're the same way. My bicep doesn't get to any work today, it somehow tells my brain, "fuck you then, eat that chocolate cake."

And viola, Curves is just lifting weights. Not even weights though, they are all resistance machines. And you do them so fast, you're really not gaining a bunch of muscle (fear not, you will not become The Terminator). You're at each machine for 30 seconds, then the soundtrack prompts you to "change stations", then you're on a "Recovery Station", where you can sway to the beat or walk or jog or whatever. If you do each machine as hard as you can, you actually completely fatigue the muscle.

So you're basically at a gym, at whatever time and day you want to be, with no men around, no fighting for machines, working all of your muscle groups, but only 30 seconds at a time so It Is NOT Boring (thank you Jesus) and you go around the circuit twice and you're done! And it feels like you should be going around five more times but you've broken a great sweat and now it's time to go do the stretch circuit and the next day you're not sore or anything.

They also have CurvesSmart, which is a system that allows you to put a fob into a little computer on each machine, and it tracks your progress and your current status and shows you to speed it up (that just reminded me of the candy episode of I Love Lucy) or whatever. I haven't bought this yet (it's like $60 extra), but I love looking at data so I'm probably going to.

Speaking of data, the first day they weigh you and measure everything, and get a total body fat percentage. Each month you repeat. More data!!! I'm in love!!

So I'm looking forward to making progress, I signed up for a year and that should be about the right time to reach my goal. I can't see me getting sick of this, I really can't, because it takes away all of the crap I hated about working out and keeps the only part I ever loved. Plus the people are pretty friendly and will coach you and keep you accountable and it's just a fun workout that goes by SO fast. They don't preach changing your diet, that's your own choice, but I'm working on that too so I hope for some great results.

I'm wearing a bikini when we finally get to renew our vows in the Caribbean next year. Well, not during the actual ceremony, but if I'm going to one of the most romantic resorts in one of the most romantic parts of the world, I sure as heck want to drive my hubby wild. 'Nuff said.

Toxicity... in the city...

2010-07-07T21:18:00.000-04:00

Are you in a toxic relationship? What is a toxic relationship? How do you get away from toxic people?

A toxic person is someone that tries to manipulate your feelings and you to their advantage. They make you doubt yourself, your intentions, your values. Toxic people may demoralize you, and more often than not, make it public. You will become the bad guy. You will feel insecure and depressed. A toxic individual will cast a heavy steel net over you that can be impossible to escape.

What made me write about evil green people tonight? I re-watched the last episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. This crazy plastic fame whore, Danielle, has a scene involving a local boutique right at the beginning of the show, and she immediately exhibits the qualities of a mentally unstable person that is living in her own reality and has become a poison to those that try (or tried) to have a relationship with her. It's pretty hard to make it through reality when you're living in your own.

And that is a key to identifying a toxic person. Chances are, you're a smart individual. Smart enough that you will generally stand up to someone that is clearly wrong. For example, you and Leah are friends. Leah goes to the fair with you and buys cotton candy. Now Leah tells everyone that you went to the movies and bought popcorn. You're going to argue with Leah, that no, she didn't buy corn she bought sugar and there were roller coasters not reclining seats. Leah's now going to tell you that you must not love her enough to remember that it was the movies and how dare you treat her friendship like that....

Um. Yes.

A toxic person = someone that insists they are living in or embraces a reality that is ONLY IN THEIR HEAD and is NOT actual reality.

This person may lie to you or to your friends about you. This person will try to make you feel guilty for your inaction or your action or for stuff you've never even done (a look, a laugh, oh you don't remember gossiping with Ozzy about them?? Shame on you!) and at some extremes, they may have real mental disorders such as as psychosis where they create real-to-them enemies and scenarios and smells and tastes (maybe someone is "pumping gas" into their bedroom).

The worst part is - you'll want to help them. Human nature is to take the weak and make them strong. To fix them. To help them see the error of their ways.

Honey, you ain't a miracle worker.

Unless this person qualifies for strong meds from a shrink, your chances of seeing a New and Improved Version are about as good as you winning the lottery while making love to George Clooney. So what can you do for them?

Nothing.

Cut them from your life. 100%. If you must talk to them, learn to think about something else while they're spewing their trash and make it clear that you don't give a rats ass about it and unless they have something rational to say, you don't have time.

The best reaction is no reaction.

They want a response from you, they want your brow to go up, your cheeks to flush... they want DRAMA, lots and lots of it! Imagine that they are a dark, cold light bulb, and you are full of vibrant energy (you are or they wouldn't be there in the first place, feeding off of you), when they start something that gets your adrenaline pumping, their light bulb slowly starts to glow, then gets brighter, and finally is blazing - and chances are, YOU now feel drained.

The best way to get this kind of person to move on (and is actually healthier for ALL involved), is to keep your energy to yourself. You have your own bill to pay for all of that electricity, you don't have the resources to give it to them. You don't need to walk on egg shells and tip toe around them. YOU don't need to make THEM feel secure. Enabling their disease is not going to convince them to change, ever.

Once you learn that YOU are sane, and they are not, your life will improve only for the better. Keep a small group of sane, healthy, secure friends, and forget the rest. No one that loves you will EVER take away your energy.

"I'd rather see you than Jesus today". (said to Norm the mechanic) - Phil Harris

2010-07-06T23:29:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post...

In the Nook world, I just finished Odd Thomas (another recommendation from Mom) and it was great! Odd is a young man with the ability to see, and help, spirits. Have to say the ending made me cry. It's the first in a series - which I think I'll be checking out.

Lately I've been watching more TV than usual (usual is about none) and for some odd reason I'm on a reality TV kick - I'm watching Bethenny Getting Married? and Real Housewives of New Jersey, both on Bravo. Teresa Giudice (pronounced like "jooDEEchay") reminds me of a woman my parents were friends with when we were little, and Bethenny just reminds me of me. RHONJ is drama-packed but intriguing and BGM is just entertaining and sweet - I can relate to all of the stress she is going through trying to plan her wedding and a million other things at once.

Of course, we are also watching Deadliest Catch, even though it is SUPER hard to watch right now. Our hearts go out to Phil Harris' family, especially Jake and Josh. If you read Odd Thomas, one of the characters has a theory that this life is just boot camp and the next is service, and you don't go to Service until you've passed Boot Camp... so maybe Phil graduated earlier than we all would have liked.

My good friend at work told me today that at a certain point during pregnancy, you can actually see the baby's hands and feet. This is crazy to me.

Pearfect Wontmore Pork!

2010-07-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

This experiment was such a success last night, I owe it to you to post it. :) What's great about it is that you could take these components and make a variety of things out of it -- I tried to make it into the entree but I can already envision cute little appetizers! This was inspired by Applebee's Pork Wonton Tacos. It is satisfying and tastes light and refreshing, and you'll have to have seconds!

You'll need:

Pork Tenderloin (you could probably also use shoulder)
Coleslaw mix
Wonton wrappers (or eggroll wrappers)
A Perfect Pear Pear and Chipotle Grilling Sauce
Sriracha or your favorite chili garlic sauce
Kosher Salt, Garlic Pepper grinder or a variation of, and Five Spice
Olive Oil

Put the tenderloin, fat side up, in a foil-lined roasting pan. Coat well with the kosher salt, garlic pepper, and five spice (be generous with the five spice!). Drizzle the top with Sriracha sauce. Cover with foil and cook as directed (I roasted at 350 for about 3 hours then turned it down to 275 and removed the foil for another 30 minutes, but you could also sear it first for a juicier result). I believe it's 25 minutes at 350 per pound.
Brush with the Pear Chipotle sauce a couple of times during the baking. Remove from oven.
Pour about an inch of olive oil in a small saucepan and bring up to high heat. Fold a wonton wrapper in half on the diagonal and crease the fold. Put it into the oil and fry on each side (use tongs to flip) until it is a light golden brown. You may have to adjust the heat. You can leave these wrappers open, cut them into shapes, whatever your heart desires. You're basically making wonton chips! Place them onto paper towel. Make at least two per person.
Slice off a half inch slice of the pork. I kind of shredded this with a knife, or you could pull it with a fork. I just wanted it in smaller pieces.
Plate with the wonton chips on the bottom (if you folded them, you can break them apart into cute triangles), then the pork, then top with about a handful of the coleslaw mix. Drizzle lightly with the Pear Chipotle sauce.

Enjoy!!

This sauce is very sweet but has a very nice gentle heat. A Perfect Pear's website describes it as:

"2005 Fiery Food Challenge 1st Place Winner is made with organic pears, chipotle chilies, jalapenos peppers, onions and sugar. A sweet and spicy sauce, great for everything including salads, grilled brie and over asparagus."

By the way, I think anything from this company would make an ADORABLE wedding gift. I mean how cute is that, "A Perfect Pear"??

iBookmark (copyright until infinity!)

2010-06-25T20:09:00.002-04:00

My mother reads books like the rest of us update Facebook - she always has one. The woman carries around paperbacks more than she carries her damn cell phone... that's what I should invent, bookmark cell phones, so I can actually reach her without calling her landline (yes, she has a landline) (but only recently purchased call waiting, you know, that really annoying, rude feature). Love you Mom.

Anyway, she recommended that I read Pat Conroy's "South of Broad" and I immediately put it on my eWish List on my Barnes & Noble nook. I finally downloaded and read it, and I gotta say, the lady has good taste. What a witty journey through the south, with an impressive cast of sarcastic characters that can eat up anyone and spit them right out. My favorite is the gay Trevor, who has not one shy bone in his flaming body.

The novel is kind of like a value-added book; it combines great story telling with top-notch character development into a sentimental memoir AND a murder mystery AND a flooded action scene! Plus there's some horrible abuse thrown in with racism for good measure (gotta say I knew what happened to Steve way early on in the book, but nice twist).

Mr. Conroy is the man that brought you "Prince of Tides" -- which I've never read. I suppose I'll have to. I highly recommend that you download "South of Broad" or do that old-fashioned-paper-thing and go buy it today.

Gotta say that I was tickled when the story went to Lake Lure and Chimney Rock, since we just went there on our honeymoon... small world! Great work Pat!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloomsday

Cancer Treatment Without Side Effects - It's all up to YOU.

2010-06-23T15:18:00.000-04:00

She couldn't talk. She couldn't look up. She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't eat. She couldn't stand. She couldn't move. She lost her hair. She didn't recognize her children. She couldn't even say good bye.

Cancer takes so many wonderful people every single day, but worse than the monster is the sharp talons it digs into you, in the form of treatment, called chemotherapy or nuclear radiation. The disease itself is stealthy, you sometimes may never know you have it, until a hand goes numb or a lump is found.

I work in RF and as I was studying for a new certification the other day, a thought so mind-tickling came to my head that I had to pause the computer based training and write it down in my Franklin Covey: "What if you can detect/treat cancer with radio waves?"

I forgot about it until last week, and decided to Google it. I found that there was another person in RF that thought of this, but not until he was diagnosed with Leukemia himself.

John Kanzius, who lost his own battle in 2009, invented a way to direct radio waves at cancer, which heats the cells and kills them, using gold nanoparticles and quantum dots. The John Kanzius Cancer Research Foundation, which just received a $250,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh Project, is working with some brilliant minds to bring this technology to a hospital - to a loved one - near you.

Imagine, a completely non-invasive, 0 side effect treatment for the world's deadliest predator. Imagine a world where, even if your spouse or mother is diagnosed with cancer, they will continue to live in dignity and comfort as it is treated, and hopefully, eliminated.

While this cause is worthwhile because I know this technology will work (having performed my own experiments on the effects of radio waves), it is important to me because I don't want anyone to EVER have to suffer like my husband's Mom suffered. I don't want anyone else to go from a perfectly normal, sunshine and flowers kind of life, to a living six week hell that ends without even being able to recognize your children or tell them how much you love them before the disease wraps itself around your heart and leads you away from life and all those you love in it.

Please, pack your lunch tomorrow and give $10 to my cause today. YOU could leave behind a legacy; your own contribution to the end of invasive and torturous cancer treatments. YOU may even help cure cancer, once and for all. Just $10. Please.

Visit http://www.yourcause.com/elizabethrowles to donate - it's fast, simple, and secure.

Help me reach my goal of $10,000 by the end of 2010.

Thank you.

Anything your expertise can do, mine can do better...

2010-06-03T22:41:00.000-04:00

At home, I learned that spraying white vinegar on weeds in the sun does indeed kill them. They don't necessarily wither up and die away, however, when they are already 3' tall. Oops.

I also haven't felt like cooking much lately, since I'm not really stressed out right now I'm capable of losing weight again and haven't been super hungry, either. I started running last week - well - jogging and walking (my ass couldn't run to save my life). I just realized it's almost Friday and I didn't make it out once this week. Shitballs! I discovered, thanks to our local shoe store, that the right pair of shoes makes all the difference in the world. I bought a pair of Saucony's and they are like running on a trampoline! I love them! At least I kept my eating in check this week.

I also discovered that I have allergies, since I felt great on our honeymoon until we hit Ohio on our way back (still wondering why we came back), then my sinus headache was full-force. I was unsuccessful with other allergy meds, so I tried Zyrtec and it seems to work beautifully. It's a relief! I have to take it (a 24 hour pill) at night, however, because it does usually make me drowsy.

It didn't take long to get my name changed after our marriage; though I was irritated that our BMV made me wait until the day after I'd changed it at the Social Security office. Don't take a day off to change your name everywhere. We discussed our financial goals and have a budget. It's so amazing to me that we communicate SO well and some couples can never seem to get on the same page, even after years of being together.

I need to get back to writing my fiction novel, but I have a great idea for a non-fiction one that I may start on soon.

We've decided to relocate and are both looking for jobs in the southern polygon we've chosen. We hate to leave our close friends, but there are plenty of people on our nerves lately that it will be nice to have some space from. It's interesting how true colors can jump out and bite you out of nowhere!

And the title of this blog has to do with a very odd scenario at work. Work in a corporate environment long enough, and you will think this at some point, in some meeting, as you stare at a co-worker/vendor/boss/dick in utter disbelief at the crap coming out of their mouth. People that are sure they're right, when they're wrong, and will never admit it, annoy the piss out of me.

Our Perfect Wedding

2010-05-22T23:00:00.001-04:00

I was certain that once our Courthouse Wedding was over and we were pronounced Husband and Wife, I would feel defeat and regret at sealing the deal in those surroundings; without the dress, without the tux, without even the bouquet. But the only thought entering my mind following the joy of our union, was that we didn't just spend $10,000! Our courthouse is gorgeous and, to me, our whole wedding and honeymoon just felt old-fashioned. We weren't putting on a show for anyone or decorating with $30,000 on flowers to set just the right "mood"... We weren't doing a cookie-cutter Las Vegas or Gatlinburg chapel wedding and we didn't see any other marrying couples on our day... we were just celebrating our love and starting our family and our future on the right foot. Our dearest friends joined us, along with his dad and my mom and brother.

We were married on my husband's birthday, so we enjoyed an amazing two-hour meal in the Lover's Lane at The Melting Pot in Indianapolis, Indiana, then stayed at the only escape I could find in Indy, the Embassy Suites Northwest. Our suite was perfect and everyone was so friendly. Then he was treated (or tortured) with a surprise test ride on a Ducati at the dealership there. I'd sent John, the rep, an e-mail a month ago when I started making plans, and he actually kept him there almost the perfect amount of time, for us to...

...return to a house full of our closest friends, as I threw him a surprise birthday party! His two best friends (they are twins) from Ohio and their gorgeous wives stayed with us that night and we all had a real ball. It was kind of like a mini-reception, following the family reception provided by my Mom after our ceremony the day before. Then the following day we packed and left town.

Our honeymoon was made possible partly by generous gifts from our families and friends, and it was AMAZING. We didn't plan a single thing in advance - not one reservation was made. We loaded the Goldwing and trailer with our luggage and cameras and headed south. We stayed two nights in Gatlinburg, one in Biltmore, and one in Lake Lure, NC. We rode all of my husband's favorite twisty roads, we dined on tasty food in fun atmospheres, we stayed in luxury at Biltmore and in historic charm in 1927 Inn Lake Lure. We saw gorgeous views, we climbed to the top of Chimney Rock, we toured the most fabulous house in the country and took pictures in its amazing gardens... on the way home we found some outlet shops and decided to stop and stay in Ohio to escape the pouring rain. The only bad part about our honeymoon was coming home.

Our marriage could not be a more perfect union. My husband is absolutely amazing - he is so patient and kind and sweet, I am so very honored to be his wife. We are an unbreakable team and I know that we will have an amazing life together. I'm certain that we will retrace the steps of our gorgeous honeymoon, complete with its fresh, honeysuckle-scented mountain air, on many anniversaries to come. And I know it will only get better and better, though we may need some help up to the top of Chimney Rock when we're in our 90's. :)

Celebrating!!

2010-05-13T13:06:00.000-04:00

One of our very good friends just told me that she had "I'm getting married in the morning" from My Fair Lady in her head in honor of our wedding tomorrow. It reminded me of the time my Mom took us to see the play when we were but wee children in the South.

My parents were divorced when I was eight and I've felt "all grown up" ever since. What a wicked blur the past twenty years have been - but today, the day before I officially start a family of my own, I am able to remember all of the joyous memories I was provided as a child. My Mom truly did her best and it's unfortunate my dad did his best to sabotage all of her efforts. I know that as much as those were happy times for me, they were infinitely happier for her. I wish I could give them to her again.

In a year or so, we'll probably be ready to bring our own little ones into the world to spoil and teach. It is a horrible shame that my Fiance's Mom is not here to relive all of the joy of watching little eyes brighten as they learn something new every day, as I'm sure she would have enjoyed it as much as I know mine will.

It dawned on me that I finally, truly, today, I feel all grown up. I will finally graduate from daughter to Wife, and I could not be more thrilled! I could not have asked for a better man to be my Husband, to love me and support me and grow with me through all of the years ahead, and I promise to ALWAYS count my many blessings, and remember that life is too short to not see it through the eyes of a child... no matter how grown up I get.

Ummm?

2010-05-11T08:50:00.000-04:00

The countdown to our marriage is heating up - I'm so excited! While there is nothing funny about the subject, I had to laugh out loud last night as I realized the irony of my current book choices on the Nook: Uncle Tom's Cabin and Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl...

Is it my subconscious trying to tell me something? My Fiance loves to tease that it's all going to change now (for the worse for me), trying to paint visions of 1950's style male dominance and control. He knows I'm the last female on the planet to tolerate that crap and thus loves to get me going (or try) with promises of it.

Back to the horrific subject of slavery, I'm certain he and I would have maintained a place on the Underground Railroad had we been alive in the day. The self-righteous "Christian" slave owners of the day would have sickened us both to the point of just offing them! The way these humans suffer and continue to swear God will get them through amazes me.... that both parties could pray to the same God and yet one continue to do unspeakable injustices to the other - wow. Who got credit for all of the bad?

Insanity

2010-05-05T07:49:00.000-04:00

  I thought I had decided on the dress I was going to wear. Like a call to war, the JoAnn Fabrics demons summoned me to hell from miles away as I was driving home yesterday - they put their claws around my weak, bridal mind and forced me to buy white fabric and thread and a pattern... a torturous pattern with pleats and darts and pain and suffering.

   Then I learned something the hard way - don't store your sewing machine on its side. The oil in it will somehow now penetrate your every thread, leaving it a lovely shade of Amoco. This is especially not good when you buy a bastard pattern that has visible sewing. I guess I get to do it by hand!

  If it doesn't work out, which it probably won't, I'll go right back to the other dress... but at least I'll know that I tried it. I hate having regrets.

  PS - Dreams about visiting historical places in London run by drag queens - always exciting.

Hair Necessities

2010-05-04T08:39:00.001-04:00

  I have super thick, curly hair, that grows in large abundances on my head (what hairdressers call "dense"). My "fro" has been annoying since forever, and when my mom chopped off all of my hair in middle school, I suffered grief for it daily.

  It has only been a year since I learned that a straightener would indeed work on my hair. Until that point, I had to curl it (on high heat) almost every day to refine and tame the curls. I just thought there was no way a straightener could ever take out the density, and I would just have a poofy wedge of straight hair. This isn't the case - it can lay completely flat against my head if I want it to! With curly hair, you also need to work hard to make it look shiny, as it sucks up all moisture.

   I did learn that thick, curly hair needs really high heat in all styling tools - at least around 425 degrees. Also, use a shine spray - I like Proclaim Olive Oil Spray - right before using either the straightener or curling iron. It's also important to buy a GOOD straightener if you're going to do it - one that won't snag on your hair. I also like having a long one, since I have so much hair it goes a hundred times faster - I recommend theJilbere Nano Silver Ultra-Thin Flat Iron. It heats up to 450 degrees, is light and smooth (no snags), and has almost instant heat. It was only $69 and well worth the money. If you decide to buy the cheap one at Walmart - be prepared to replace it five times in the life of one good product.

  I'm sure most people already do this, but if not, make sure that you go to a professional with experience with this hair type to cut your hair. They can cut the appropriate layers, textures, and even thin it a little so that it is not poofy - even when it's freshly washed and air-dryed!

  The one thing I have yet to find is a good product for keeping hair like mine straight in high humidity. It will always curl right up, regardless of what I've done to it.

  Don't get me wrong - I love having both thick hair and curls - but it is such a relief to have options and not have to spend hours making them look controlled.

Oink, oink, CHA CHING!

2010-05-02T12:10:00.000-04:00

  My magazine All You pointed me to a newer website last night: SmartyPig. This was definitely a proceed-with-caution decision for me, but I feel confident that it is a secure endeavor. Basically, SmartyPig allows you to save for whatever, gives you 2.xx% interest on your savings, allows others to contribute to your goal, and can set up regular withdrawals from your regular bank accounts (and will tell you exactly how much needs to be pulled to meet your goal).

  When you've finally met it, you can just put it back in your bank account, get a special credit/gift card, or I think have a check mailed. You must have an initial deposit of $25. I haven't set up the regular withdrawals yet as I have so many bills with our wedding this month, but I will once that is done.

  I'm actually really glad to have found this, because I wanted a special savings account at my bank that was harder to just dip right back into! My regular checking account has a higher interest rate, but I am just too rotten at leaving the money alone.

  SmartyPig also works with social networking sites, so my Facebook friends will now know of every deposit - aka accountability. If they are feeling generous, they can also contribute! I've decided to use this instead of the Sandals registries, as I don't believe it costs guests any fees to contribute, and the money will be earning a wee bit of interest.

In other news, we're watching the Jerez MotoGP race that was DVR'd now, GO ROSSI!!!!!!

We'll huff and we'll puff...

2010-04-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

  We live in a "No Solicitors Allowed" neighborhood, but this AM, finely dressed people with bibles descended upon us, ringing bells and opening storm doors to pound until everyone could hear.

  So, are Jehovah Witnesses solicitors?? I would certainly say so. They don't bother me as much as the creepy young man with the backpack and notebook that came asking us which houses had kids because "he was doing a study". That man is lucky to have escaped with his life - study my ass you freak.

  I am so pleased that it is once again Friday that nothing is going to discourage me today. It's beautiful out, my flowers are still alive (my tomatoes not so much), I'm getting married soon, and pool league is almost over. Life is good. :)

Ugh. Experts.

2010-04-23T08:47:00.001-04:00

  The man I am about to marry is an expert at like EVERYTHING. It's so annoying! Motorcycles - he puts like 25k miles on a year, on a giant cruiser and a sport bike... He even does drill competitions for the Shrine (you know, the men behind the Shriner's Children Hospitals), where he can handle that massive beast through a U-shaped "Slow Ride" without dumping it, criss-cross his cohorts at high speeds, and make it through an obstacle course in less than a minute. He is badass.

  Pool - he's been playing pool since like, ever. There are very few people that can beat him. He plays on a league where everyone has a skill level and sometimes he loses there, but I think that whole thing is rigged. He is good. (BTW - pool halls - nasty. Most people that play pool in pool halls - nasty.)

  Golf. OK so here he was a freakin' professional. He was a pro on the Long Drive Association and can whack a golf ball into your momma's house. It's ridiculous.

  Guns. So maybe not an "expert" here, but definitely a connoisseur. He knows a ton about them and every time we watch a movie he's like, "Oh that's a magnum pi 1049 caliber double barrel desert eagle glock with the silencer."

  Xbox - omfg. He is an "achievement whore" and it's VERY rare that ANY game sits with unlocked achievements for very long. It cracks me up! The only game we play together usually is Left 4 Dead and I'm not horrible, but he whoops all of our butts.

  Oh and he knows a ton about computer networking, photography, etc... and he's an avid reader and he absorbs info like a damn ShamWow. It's actually pretty rare that anyone (other than me, of course) can argue with him and know more about the topic than he does.

  The other crazy thing I love about him is that this man can tell some stories. I mean, like amazing, there's no way that's true, seemingly exaggerated stories. It may sound like he's bragging or making crap up just to impress you - but every damn one of them is 100% true. He's a really animated story teller which probably puts people on their guard, but seriously, he's just recounting something that did indeed happen, and just like he tells you it happened. It's insane! He's had some outrageous events in his life... like the story about how he and his dad were golfing and suddenly bullets were whizzing by and they had to "GET DOWN!!" because some idiot in an adjacent field was out ahunting... I mean, who experiences that??

  You just can't help but love him. Imagine a 6' 7", very talented kid and that's what he is - so much innocence and love just radiates from the guy - once people understand how genuine he is (and that he's not making the shit up) they just love making him their friend. I am honored to be the one becoming his wife and getting lucky enough to spend eternity with him... I can't wait for our kids to hear his stories. Love you Babe!

Dialogue

2010-04-21T07:52:00.000-04:00

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights, Ch. 9

I'm reading Wuthering Heights right now on the Nook. This novel was published in 1847 - I just love reading classics because I feel like I'm making a direct connect to the past....maybe hopping in a nightly time machine. The one thing that really stands out as different between then and now is the sheer number of words, big ones at that, used in every day dialogue. One character will pronounce all of their thoughts and feelings, thoroughly and eloquently, in normal conversation. It's almost as if there is no self-censorship, or maybe an extreme amount of quick editing before the words are said. How marvelous to feel free tell someone exactly what is on your mind!

"Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights, Ch. 9

Unbeknownst to me, this gothic romance is actually being compared to Twilight, and they are working on another film adaptation of it. Huh. It seems like everything I read lately has a theatrical version in the works.

Killin 'em Slowly: Yaz Birth Control

2010-04-18T12:08:00.000-04:00

I'm posting my experience with Yaz birth control because there are so many lawsuits out and I'm hoping any young ladies researching BC will see this and make their own decision.

The first BC I ever used was Ortho Tri Cyclen and I used it for about six years without any issues. I was off BC for three years and asked to be put back on OTC, but my health insurance had them give me the generic, where I'd always had the real thing before. I used to have a pharm. sales rep as a customer and she told me that the generic is NEVER the same thing - it's as close to it as they can get without violating the patent, but the quality of the chemicals is not the same.

I started having some pretty serious bouts of crying and a feeling of depression towards the end of the cycle. Crying like someone close to me had DIED crying. It was horrible! At that time I was only going to my primary for everything and I called his nurse and told him and he put me on Yaz.

I thought it was odd that I'd suddenly have PMDD, where I never had it before, but decided maybe it was possible. My first issue with Yaz is that I would never menstruate during the off days and then would almost all month through the regular cycle. When I finally decided to go to a regular OB/GYN to establish a relationship with one prior to having children, I told him about it and he said I could delay the start of a new pill cycle for a few days but not much more. That seemed to make it better, but the crying continued.

After months of feeling really sad and depressed for a few days (and believe me, I have nothing to be depressed or sad about), it started to get REALLY weird. I would look down at my arm if it was hurting and think 'Gee, I'll just cut it off.' Then I'd have a headache and visualize just chopping my head off. Anything that hurt, I just had this desire to remove it with a quickness! Then I started having suicidal thoughts and decided enough was enough - my life was great and this was making no sense.

So I stopped taking BC altogether. It took almost three months before I was completely back to normal. Sure, I may have about one emotional day a month where I get a little teary or irritable, but I certainly don't have machete dreams anymore!! I called my OB/GYN and only left a message with a nurse that the Yaz was making me think weird things and feel really bad and I'd like to go back to Ortho Tri Cyclen. They called in the prescription.

When I went to pick it up, it was actually Ortho Cyclen, but the generic. I told them I wanted to pay for the real thing. So now I've been on Ortho Cyclen for two months and am feeling GREAT. I really can't say I can tell I'm taking it AT ALL. There are no more "it must be the BC honey" conversations and it really has made life easier. Plus, even with paying for it out of pocket, it's more than half the cost of Yaz. And it really helps to keep my skin in top shape.

This was my own experience, but after reading similar accounts from hundreds of ladies, I would encourage you to really think hard about your BC decision. I firmly believe that things could have gotten very ugly if I had continued to use Yaz and am very glad I stopped it when I did. PMDD may be a real thing, but I did not have it!

My thoughts go out to anyone experiencing side effects of the kind I experienced while taking Yaz, and thank you to my dear fiance for all of his support and concern when I went through this.

Destination Weddings - An experiment in research stamina!

2010-04-12T11:38:00.000-04:00

I'm still undecided but I wanted to put together some more resources for those of you out there in the same boat!

For Italy, visit http://www.italiandreamevents.com/ and be patient for a reply. This was started by a woman who was married there and loved it so much she decided to help other brides organize their own. I've just gotten in touch with her and she said that a weddingmoon there for $4500 IS possible. She is well-traveled and a friend of my boss, so it's much better than a stab in the dark.

For a great deal on an all-inclusive and wedding, look up Excellence resorts. They have locations in Mexico, Punta Cana, Jamaica. There is also Breezes, Dreams, Beaches, Sandals, Iberostar, Couples, Riu, El Dorado, and Secrets.

Secrets is more upscale and a little pricey - but honestly quite comparable to Sandals price-wise. I love love love their Cap Cana Sanctuary resort in Punta/Cap Cana. It is my favorite out of all of them!

Almost all weddingmoons at any of these, including photography and airfare, seem to come to right around $5,000. In Mexico, Punta Cana, and Jamaica, it seems as though All Inclusive is the way to go. In places like Aruba or the USVI or Hawaii - I think you're better off to venture away from the resort. AI's in the aforementioned locales are more Americanized and safe, and most people plan on staying put.

Finally, while travel concierge's service is awesome, do check on kayak.com for their "Vacation" rates. You'd be surprised at the ease and availability of rates for all of these resorts, and they often have rate calendars to show you when is the best time to go. It usually ends up at Orbitz, so I suppose you could check there as well. Also check Trip Advisor for reviews on ANY place you are interested in going - some people complain to complain but if there are many negative reviews you should steer clear. Also, they'll help you get a feel for the place.

Summer is almost upon us, and besides trying to get in shape (both personally and house-wise), we also have many motorcycle races/mini vacations that are standard every summer, so the likelihood of saving dollars for our Big Day is getting smaller and smaller.

By the way - I'm going to try golfing as part of my exercise plan. Fore!!!!!

Kick off to a Lifetime of Experiences!

2010-03-30T22:14:00.000-04:00

As much as I love our friends and family, I have come to the conclusion that our special day needs to be just that. Special. Imagine swimming lazily in paradise up to a bar, grabbing an amazing rum concoction, and then floating back near the palm trees, or swimming right up to a luxurious suite. Imagine having a butler to bring you breakfast in a cooler on the beach every morning, or making sure your tasty snack is in your room every day. Total and complete luxury, that is what I'm after! I have decided on a "weddingmoon", or destination wedding!

I am SOOOO excited to be planning and saving for the trip of a lifetime, where we will arrive in an exotic locale and get married on the beach or in a lush garden gazebo and then spend the first week of our married lives in a pampered paradise!

I am certainly in luck, too, as I "met" Marcie of Beach Bum Vacations way back in 2005 when I first started blogging. At that time, she was in my shoes: in a great relationship, then engaged, then planning her own wedding. She ended up doing her own DW (destination wedding) with BBV and later scored a job with the outfit. I called her today and she is putting together some options for me. This is after I did DAYS of my own research, narrowing down resorts and locales and discovering what each property and package had to offer. I'm a research-well-before-you-buy kind of girl, and I wanted to get a ballpark idea of what I was going to be able to afford with my budget. I am adamant about being a well-informed consumer. She could have done all of this legwork for me (or for you), but I didn't want to waste her time learning that it was unaffordable or not what we pictured.

However, what BBV and Marcie can do is plan and arrange your entire vacation, right down to keeping you on track and telling you when you need to contact the wedding coordinator or file your documents or even just give you guest packets (if they are going to try to make the trip too) and then handle their trips/vacations as well! They do all of this without a fee - I'm assuming they get some kind of commission on the sale (geez, I'd hope so). They also offer insurance, kind of pricey, but for $129 a person the insurance will provide a full refund of your money if the trip is canceled for ANY reason. So if for some reason I lose my job or something and must cancel, I won't be SOL. Also, they allow you to put a deposit down and then make payments - any amount at any time, as long as it is paid in full 30 days before your trip. This is a total lifesaver for me as I'll be earning the money for this trip in the months leading up to it.

So... I have narrowed down my options. For those of you looking (as I was) for all-inclusive resorts, these are the main ones I found: Couples Resorts (in Jamaica), Dreams (several locations from Mexico to Punta Cana), Sandals (Bahamas, Jamaica, St. Lucia, and Antigua), and their counterpart Beaches, and Palace Resorts (Mexico). Dreams and Beaches are family friendly. Couples are only for adult couples. Sandals is adults only. Price-wise, Beaches is highest, followed by Sandals, then Couples, Dreams, and Palace. My fiance is not down for going to Mexico for various reasons. I prefer to go somewhere more scenic and tropical. To us, photo ops (we're photographers), nice pools, luxurious accommodations, and great food is most important. I'm a certified SCUBA diver but he is not so that isn't important. Here are the resorts I'm most intrigued with:

Couples Tower Isle ($) is located in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. It was recently remodeled with a very modern look. It has a simple, rectangular pools. It sounds like it has a more boutique-like, private island feel. They have great service and absolutely refuse tips. It includes: "In addition to finely appointed accommodations, gourmet meals, live entertainment every night, premium brand drinks, a world of water sports, gratuities and taxes, a stay at Couples Tower Isle offers the following exclusive benefits:

19 acres of beautiful beachfront property
226 romantic rooms & suites
Six unique restaurants:

Bayside Asian Restaurant
The Verandah continental cuisine
The Patio Mediterranean and Italian cuisine
8 Rivers Caribbean Fusion restaurant
Beach Grill restaurant
Veggie Bar

Au naturel private island
Four bars, including Private Island & Piano Bar
Horseback riding
Watersports & Scuba
Glass-bottom boat tours
Dunn’s River Falls tour
Shopping excursions to Downtown Ocho Rios
Catamaran Cruise
Unlimited Golf (transfers and green fees included. Caddy mandatory at a nominal charge)
Shuttle to Island Village, home of Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville "

Their complimentary wedding package requires a 3 night stay and does not include government fees (it's kind of pricey to get married abroad!) but does include the personal service of a minister, wedding coordinator, bridal bouquet, boutonniere for the groom, sparking wine, two-tier cake and his and hers half-hour massages. See more details: http://couples.com/weddings/01c-overview.htm

Their Ocean Junior Suites offer: Beautiful Jr. Suites With Sitting Area And Romantic View Of The Caribbean Sea And Tower Isle. Air Conditioned, King Size Bed, With Either Jacuzzi Bathtub Or Luxurious Walk-In Shower, Digital Cable Flat Screen Tv, Ipod-Mp3 Docking Station, Blow Dryer, Safety Deposit Box, Refrigerator Stocked With Beer, Wine, Soda And Champagne Replenished Daily. Nightly Turndown Service. Private Balcony. Located On The Top Floor In The Main Building, Block 3 And Block 2 On 1st, And 2nd Floor. A seven night stay in this room AND flight came in at $3,481!

Sandals Grande St. Lucian ($$$$) is my absolute favorite. This island has amazing blue water and the neatest mountains! It is called "the Hawaii of the Caribbean" and is truly something else. The resort itself has an amazing free form pool (actually 4 pools) with lush vegetation. It even has lagoon swim-up suites. Sandals also offers butler service in some of its suites, and that kind of pampering sounds like what the doctor ordered!! St. Lucia is right above South America, so the flight price on this is pretty hefty. There is an old fort nearby and the pitons not too far away. Sandals also has three resorts on SL so you can visit all of them! The Grande has six restaurants, but you can partake in the 11 others!

Escape to your very own peninsula that juts out into the remarkable Caribbean Sea and gives you panoramic views from every single vantage point imaginable. On one side, gaze out at enormous Rodney Bay, replete with colorful sailboats and backed by luscious, cone-shaped, volcanic mountains. On the other, let your eyes travel across the sparkling expanse of sea to touch the far-off shores of mysterious Martinique. Everywhere you look–amazing sights enrapture your senses and free your soul–Sandals Grande St. Lucian, an isthmus of worldly delights in a setting beyond this world!

Their complimentary wedding package requires a 6 night stay in a concierge+ category, and it seems to be more economical at this resort to just stay shorter and pay the difference (but, boo!), and it includes all of the "basics", and the government fees! They even sell custom wedding dresses on their website! The butler category suite and airfare came in at $7,486... ouch :( Currently they are offering a $250 spa credit, though! Woot! Ha ;)

Sandals Royal Caribbean ($$$) is located in Montego Bay, Jamaica. It features its own private island, complete with a dragon boat to get there and a cute Thai restaurant. It also has its own pool and bar! This resort is also high on my list and also has swim-up rooms. Marcie had some red hot photos taken here in the gorgeous old world gazebo out in the water! It features 7 restaurants and is close to the airport! A butler level room and airfare came in at $5,177.

Sandals Whitehouse ($$$$) is actually one of their resorts that I dismissed VERY quickly, but this is actually where Marcie had her honeymoon and after looking at all of the pictures, I admit that I'm in love. It really is unique and different, the pool has the view of the ocean, wow. Unfortunately, the butler is basically $2,000 more... a concierge level room and flight was $4,667, but a butler level was $7,598.56!

I'm not going to go into detail on the rest, but here are the grand totals for butler level (if applicable) suites and flights:

Sandals Royal Bahamian: $4,525.20 (it's close to Florida - flights are cheap!) This also includes a VIP Rolls Royce or Mercedes Benz transport from the airport, the companion flies free, and a $250 spa credit. This resort ALSO has its own private island!

Sandals Grande Antigua: $9,066.28 (HAHAHAHAHA no thanks!) ($5,221.48 for a concierge level).

Sandals Ocho Rios: $4,669.08 This is actually for a villa with a kitchen! And it has a restaurant called Valentino's. We are HUGE Valentino Rossi fans so this is exciting :)

Sandals Dunn's River Villagio: $6,330.88 (with whirlpool!)

Sandals Regency St. Lucia: $5,872.30

Dreams Punta Cana: $3,755.60 - (they don't have butlers) with a jacuzzi. Their wedding package is also free with a seven night stay. I do really like this resort - but it is family friendly and Marcie said she was harassed by peddlers even inside the resort... ick. They have like the longest pool I've ever seen, though!

Dreams La Romana: $3,081.60

And all of the Palace resorts in Mexico came in around or under $3k.

All prices listed reflect quotes on a specific day, for a specific time range, from a specific location. You will need to request quotes based on your specific wants and needs. I've posted them just to give you an idea of what price range each falls under for a similar room category and time period.

Oh, and check out this site for gorgeous destination wedding gowns!! Oooh la la! (by Maggie Sottero)

You're such a pain in the back!

2010-03-29T07:40:00.000-04:00

Back pain and stress: these two are so tied together for me it's unreal. This all started in 2008, when our relationship was new and I was officially selling my house and moving in just as his dad was. A long story short, within a couple of months my back was spasming so bad, one morning I couldn't even stand up straight or walk.

I had no idea what the pain was - I assumed I had a herniated disc or bulging disc from all of the moving. I had to relocate my entire house full of stuff, then repeatedly move furniture and such to make room for his old man. On top of that, I threw a big NYE party that was a ton of work. My sweetheart dragged me to his chiropractor, which was a horrible experience because the man 100% creeped me out, made me execute agonizing movements, and didn't really relieve any pain. If anything, the electric treatment with the heat pads did the most for me.

I took ibuprofen like there was no tomorrow and sat on ice and then heat. I begged my sweetie for massages and we bought one of those percussion massagers and that helped some. But one day I was doing a project for work in our garage, and out of nowhere my back "locked up" and I couldn't even stand upright. I made it inside and laid on the couch and then I Could. Not. Get. Up. I was horrified! I called my doctor.

He assumed, correctly, that my muscles were spasming. I think he gave me a mega dose of an anti-inflammatory (all that ibuprofen is naughty) and told me to relax. I explained to him that our houseguest was giving me mega stress (have someone follow you EVERYWHERE you go in a new relationship, then tell you it's not your house and chop down your trees and such... gag) and I suspected that it was more due to stress than physical injury.

I did some research and somewhere along the interwebs found that magnesium can help with muscle issues. At that time I wasn't on any kind of multi-vitamin so I bought a bottle of a magnesium supplement. I think I took a few pills that day and I felt 98% better by that night! It was a complete lifesaver! I still take it for back pain, but also just for regular cramps or anything muscle-related. If I hadn't found this, I don't know what I would have done. I was starting to miss some work and everything I did, even sitting on the toilet or bending over slightly to lift the lid was KILLING me, bringing tears to my eyes every time.

All of my pain was low back, right around where the tailbone starts. I would continue to have a pulling pain on the right side. This actually went away when I started doing mega squats, but after that I ended up with a knee issue and was told to never, ever do squats or knee bends. I still get some pain here and haven't found a good way to get rid of it, but stretching my hamstrings every day helps immensely!

So does forcing myself to relax. So light some candles, take a bubble bath, pray to God to take your stressors away, and take some magnesium.